I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
