Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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