Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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