i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
