my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
