It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
