operation harelip BJ is a go
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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