How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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