Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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