Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
