Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
