is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize