Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
