You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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