She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
