Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
