you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
