And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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