He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
