You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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