ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The air was thick with penises
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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