best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Best friends brother. Beat that.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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