Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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