went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize