someone owes me an orgasm
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Someone shattered a urinal.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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