she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
