He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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