I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
PANTIES FOUND
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
