i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
