My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize