Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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