Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
