Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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