Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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