i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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