it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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