nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
