running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
