nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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