Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
