Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
