I got her a Nickelback box set.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
