NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
