Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
