last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize