why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
