i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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