I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
