I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
