whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
