Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
