My hand turned me down
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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