Don't you send me to vm
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
