somebody snuck up and got me drunk
its not stalking. its research.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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