I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My feet surprised me
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