Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
