He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
