So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
